House

House

I grew up in a house that was built in 1902, on a tree-lined block in an older neighborhood in Jonesboro, Arkansas. There were several other kids close to my age who lived nearby and we all played together. It was an idyllic place to grow up. Just a block away there was a corner store, owned by a sweet older couple. At some point I learned that my parents had a charge account there, and it was all the candy I could eat until Mom and Dad got the bill and shut me down.

A few days ago I found this photo of the house at my mother’s home and posted it on Facebook. So many people commented with their own memories of our house that it made me more nostalgic than ever for the old place.

We moved there in my first-grade year. I was excited because the house had a basement. I’d never seen a basement before. That basement would hold many, many LEGOS and would shelter us from Jonesboro’s deadly tornadoes; the one in 1968 that took away the home of some of my parents’ best friends and in 1976, the tornado that blew away the local high school. We went to school the next year in portable buildings at the local fairgrounds and traveled to our church for band and choir.

I was so distraught after the ’68 storm that I was determined to go to church the next morning, but my parents weren’t planning to go. I set off walking and when I arrived the doors were locked. The tornado had not only destroyed homes and killed a few people, but the whole town was in such a state that they cancelled church.

I took this photo of my family in the driveway. Notice the wood-paneled station wagon in the carport. This must have been around 1977, as Daddy, my brother, my sister, and my mom are leaning against my new Cutlass Supreme in that fabulous tan (what was i thinking?).

Our house had a small den just inside the side door, and it opened into a large living room and a dining room. From the dining room, you entered the breakfast room, then the kitchen. It was a large kitchen, even by today’s standards and the countertops were stainless steel.

In the living room, there was an armoire that held a lot of random papers and other junk. The one thing I remember was that it was where we kept the Elvis tickets we had bought for a concert that never took place because Elvis died. When we went back to look for the tickets, they had disappeared. No one ever found them, but I’ve always wondered what six tickets for a concert Elvis never performed would bring.

When I was a teenager, my mom, who had been a homemaker, got a part-time job at Arkansas State University teaching in the nursing department. She was one of the only nurses in the area with a bachelor’s degree. She used some of her salary to redecorate the old den, living room, and dining room. We got spring green carpet over those 60-plus-year-old hardwood floors (as one did at that time), and a green velvet couch and drapes to match. I think it was nice for the day, but the green had definitely overstayed its welcome by the time we sold the house.

Off the kitchen was a utility room, which was always a mess. That’s where the washer and dryer were and once when my mom left clothes to dry in the dryer while we went to church, the dryer caught fire. The only thing that kept the whole house from burning was the plastic bottle of laundry detergent that sat on top of the dryer. It melted from the heat of the fire and the liquid doused the fire. But there was smoke. A lot of smoke. We had to have the house fumigated and they used this awful pink bubblegum scent. We smelled that crap for years afterwards.

This is my daddy feeding our oldest daughter, Elizabeth, in the kitchen. Over his right shoulder you can see the windows of the den we added.

Our bedrooms were large, like old house bedrooms were. I got the best room, as I was the oldest. It had a fireplace (non-working) with a mantel and in the small closet there was a window. The tile around the fireplace was blue, which has always been my favorite color. Years later when we redecorated it, I got blue and green shag carpet, which I thought was the most beautiful, lush floor I’d ever seen.

Daddy loved popcorn. Sometimes after I’d gone to bed, he would pop popcorn and I’d smell it from my room. He and Mom both knew I was about to come running down the stairs for some popcorn. They let me stay up and have my fill before I went back to bed. I still love popcorn.

I hated the Ethan Allan furniture in my room, so during the redecoration, it came out. I had seen this set of white furniture with blue and green trim and, of course, that was it for me. It didn’t have a desk or bookcase, so my daddy had new ones custom built for my room and they were a bright shade of blue. I loved that furniture. I wish I knew what happened to it.

One of my favorite photos ever of Daddy in the den.

My sister got orange and yellow shag carpet and white furniture with orange and yellow trim. Some of both of our furniture got stripped and painted over and over again and has served our girls well as dorm room and apartment furniture.

At some point, my parents decided to paint the house white. The painters did it by hand — no sprayers. It took forever. I felt like the painters had moved in with us.

Daddy with our youngest, Sara Ann as a baby.

When I was in about the ninth grade, my daddy decided to build a pool in the back yard. His idea was that as we grew into teenagers, the more they could keep us around the house the better. He wasn’t much for spending a lot of money on home decor, but he would open the purse strings when it involved anything we could all do together as a family.

The pool was wonderful. It wasn’t the most beautiful pool ever built, because Daddy thought that stainless steel would be the most durable. I watched the men build it, then lay the concrete and shape the steps by hand.

We swam all the time. Sometimes when Daddy came home from work, he’d get in with us and the whole family would be in the pool. We had a neighbor who would peep at us through the holes in the concrete brick fence. Once we caught her peeping and squirted the Pool Sweep hose in her direction. I don’t remember her peeping too often after that.

My brother was about five the first summer we had the pool. He had this little Speedo swimsuit that had white stars and stripes on it and he wore it all the time. He actually got a tan on his behind in the pattern of the stars and stripes, and we laughed and sang, “Oh, stars and stripes everywhere, even on his derriere … ” to the tune of Stars and Stripes Forever.

Back row, left to right: My brother-in-law, my sister, Jim; in front is my mom, me (holding my nephew Will), and Elizabeth. I was pregnant with Sara Ann at the time.

Behind our house was a vacant lot. When they mowed it, it was a great place to tumble. I remember doing nine backhandsprings in a row in that lot — it was the most I’d ever done as there was no gym for that in Jonesboro in the early 1970s.

Around the time we built the pool, we also added on a large den with a very high ceiling and windows all around. It became our family’s favorite room, and the old den was used mostly as a place to put the piano. I jokingly referred to it as the conservatory. My parents told me that new room cost as much as they paid for the entire house. But it was worth it, and they designed it with a hole in the roof right outside the window for an oak tree my daddy didn’t want to cut down.

I’ve always loved this photo of Jim (left) and my daddy talking about the camera Daddy is holding. Jim is concentrating intensely.

At some point we redecorated the kitchen and got new wallpaper. It was (remember, 1970s) orange and yellow plaid with a little bit of spring green. Trouble is, when you wallpaper an old house, never do plaid. Those walls were nowhere near plumb, and the pattern made it obvious.

That wallpaper, crooked walls and all, was still there when my mom sold the house after Daddy passed in 1993. The yard, the pool, everything that has to be fixed when an old house gets older — at around 6000 square feet, was too much for my mother on her own.

The last time I was in the house, there were moving boxes everywhere, all the pictures had been taken down off the wall, and I couldn’t stand it. I went upstairs for one last look at the room that had been my safe and happy place for so many years, pausing on the landing with the big picture window I always looked out to see if there was lightning.

It was a wonderful house, well loved and well lived in. It was eligible for the National Register of Historic Places, but no one ever got busy and did the paperwork.

I miss it, but we’ve made so many new memories it doesn’t sting like it used to. A family is a family wherever they are, and my memories of this house are really memories of the people and relationships that lived and loved here.

Goodbye, House

Goodbye, House

Yesterday was happy/sad.

Happy/sad because we closed on the sale of the house we lived in for 28 years.

Where we raised our two girls and a few dogs along the way.

The kitchen in which I made approximately 2160 peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches for school lunches.

The scene of numerous taco nights with 14 teenagers around a table made for six.

My surprise 50th birthday party thrown by Sara Ann and her friends, with help from her older sister, when they made tacos for me.

A zillion sleepovers with screaming, giggling girls.

The dining room that sometimes became a sewing room, especially the week before Easter, when I stayed up until all hours finishing dresses.

A few weeks ago we cleaned out the last of our belongings from the house. We bought the house in Germantown, Tennessee, a suburb of Memphis, in September 1991, several days before our oldest daughter, Elizabeth’s third birthday. I was in the very early first trimester of my pregnancy with our youngest, Sara Ann.

Our empty den after being vacant for a year
About to leave for the last time with a nearly-full UHaul truck

It was a fixer-upper. We painted before we moved in, a teal color that was cool in 1991. We took before photos so we could see how our efforts improved the look of the rooms.

Through the years we improved things gradually, but it was never perfect. I had a vision for this home, and it was never fulfilled. Still, it served us well as a home in which our girls and their friends felt comfortable and accepted. It was messy most of the time, but it was full of happiness. Children, dogs, and teenagers are messy — the best kind of messy.

As the girls grew up and left home, Jim and I enjoyed our times on the patio more and more. It was shady and peaceful, and once i gave up on growing grass and Jim build a large flower bed next to the patio, we spent more and more time outside.

In 2015 we were about to start working in earnest on bringing it current. Jim had received a great bonus at work and we were going to start with new floors throughout. But in May of that year, Jim lost his job. So no hardwood floors.

After five long years of job searching, Jim decided to change careers and go into real estate. We moved back to our hometown of Jonesboro, Arkansas and into a rental home half the size of our home in Germantown. We still have much of our furniture from the house in storage, along with my china, silver flatware, Waterford crystal, and some lovely silver serving pieces.

We moved to Jonesboro on July 29, 2019. We planned to get the house in Germantown fixed up and sold quickly, as houses in our school district were selling quickly and for top dollar and there was still time for a family to get moved in before the new school year.

We didn’t get it sold, or even on the market that fall. Just after we moved, I began to feel weak and nauseated. As I was constantly sick to my stomach, I could barely eat. This went on until in September I became dehydrated enough to go to a minor medical clinic. Once the results of my bloodwork came back, I was immediately admitted to the hospital, where I stayed for four days, the sickest I’ve ever been.

We had a great holiday season, though it was strange to be here in Jonesboro instead of driving over from Memphis. I kind of missed the process of packing the car and driving here for the holidays. I felt fine, and thought things were back to normal and we planned to get the house ready to sell in the spring.

In January 2020, I was getting ready to go to a meeting, when I realized I was too sick to go. Jim called the doctor that day and by the next day I was back in the hospital because my calcium was high again. The doctors suspected myeloma, which is a serious form of blood cancer. After a lung biopsy, I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis, a rare, chronic condition with a much better prognosis than myeloma. I began a course of high-dosage steroids (65 mg/day), which would taper down over the coming months.

In March, COVID-19 hit, and I was (and still am) immunocompromised due to the steroids, which meant I could only leave the house to go to necessary medical appointments.

Later that month on March 28, a tornado roared directly over our house, taking the metal storage shed in our back yard, destroying our fence, and breaking out the back window of my car. This video was taken immediately after the tornado passed over and you can tell that my voice is still shaky. Notice the stuff that was in the shed still in place as it was before the tornado ripped the shed off its foundation. These things are strange.

Car damage thanks to the tornado

In July I went for my first mammogram in several years. As a 22-year breast cancer survivor, mammograms are always filled with anxiety. There were spots on the mammogram that concerned the doctors, so I returned the following week for a biopsy. After an agonizing week waiting for results, I got the phone call that the spot was benign.

So it is that it has taken us this long to sell our house in Germantown. It’s been stressful and expensive, as we’ve paid for utilities for two homes. Not to mention insurance, homeowners’ association fees, and property taxes. The house sat vacant for more than a year, and was not in top selling condition, so we accepted a low as-is offer from a house flipper, which meant a quick all-cash closing with no inspection.

Yesterday was the closing. The happy/relieved/sad closing, in which I told the buyer to enjoy our house, and asked if we can come back and see it after they finish renovating it.

After the closing we drove around Germantown for about an hour, driving by the girls’ middle school and high school, and the preschool that Sara Ann attended. We drove by what was my go-to Target store and the Kroger, Trader Joe’s, and Whole Foods where we used to shop. Then we had lunch with a couple of our dearest friends, whom we’ve known since our 32-year-olds were infants together in the church nursery.

After lunch was a socially-distanced outdoor visit with another set of dear friends and a couple of drinks of celebratory bubbly on their beautiful deck on a perfect fall day.

Then it was back to Jonesboro to celebrate around the fire pit with the fam and more bubbly and takeout from a local hibachi restaurant.

I love being here close to my family — my brother and his family, my sister and brother-in-law, our youngest daughter, and my mom, who is 85 and loves having us nearby. Jim and I planted flowers for her this spring, and he watered them for her every day this summer and is always available to help when she has issues with one of her tech devices.

Due to COVID, we cook at home most nights, and, for the most part, see only my mom who doesn’t go out much, and my sister and brother-in-law, who work from home. Jim is back in the real estate office and showing houses, but he’s very cautious and careful about social distancing. I miss going to church and the grocery store and the occasional restaurant dinner.

We’re looking forward to the next chapter. Even at 61, I’ll never be too old to look forward to the future.

Goodbye, house. You were a phenomenal home.