In this post I began this discussion of the hill I refuse to die on. This is the rest of the list.

1. Noise Teenagers are loud. As long as they are inside my house and not disturbing my neighbors, I don’t care how loud they are — I’m just glad they are safe at my house. They can raise the roof for all I care.
2. Bedtime I’m a night owl myself, so unless it’s a school night, I don’t care how late they stay up. They like to have friends over and it’s a badge of honor to stay up until sunrise. What the heck?
3. Messiness Teenagers are either messy or miserable. If you invite them over, they will mess up your house. So what? The time will come when there are no teenagers around and your house will only be as messy as you are.
4. Planning. They do not plan. They may say they are going to dinner at one place, change plans at the last minute and not eat dinner at all. They are spontaneous and decisions are made via text message. Go with the flow. Just make sure your teen lets you know where they are at all times. I strongly advise learning to text if you don’t already.
5. Thong underwear. Ick. Yeah, I know. If she really wants a string up her butt, I’m not gonna fight it. Besides, they take up much less room in the washing machine. Just don’t pick them up by the string. I don’t have to explain that, do I?

For all of their complications and weirdness, they are some of the most enjoyable people you will ever know. They are honest, idealistic and blissfully unrealistic. If you can be patient, flexible, non-judgmental and willing to laugh at yourself, you can have a blast with them. If not … prepare to be driven out of your mind.